Stuff That Winds Me Up.

Posted: 22 June, 2010 in Dickhead of the Week, misc, Raiding, Rant

Selfish dps.  That’s what I hate.  Prima donnas whos’ obsession at dominating the damage meters comes at the expense of everything else, including…  you know… killing the boss?  Yes, we know the boss is the one with all the dps-boosting debuffs on him, but if you don’t switch targets and kill those adds, you’re wiping the raid, fucknuts!

The Weekly Raid Quest this week on Hellscream was Lord Jarraxxus in Trial of the Crusader.  Since he’s the second boss, you have to defeat The Beasts of Northrend to get to him.  I’ve seen so much failboating in that instance this week it stopped being funny, oh, around Thursday last week.  I did the weekly first on Shinano, my Tree.  Everything was going hunky-dory, the ridiculously overgeared tanks were staying up just fine thanks to the ridiculously overgeared healers and Gormok the Impalers’ health was dropping fast thanks to the ridiculously overgeared dps.  Then the Two Jormungar appear at the gate, but something wierd’s going on – I’m still having to dodge Firebombs… what the hell?  Yes, there are still two Snobolds up, fact fans.  The reason Gormok dropped like an overweight jogger with a cardiac arrest wasn’t because the dps were so good, it was because the dps were so shit, most of them ignored the snobolds and just nuked the boss, which meant we went into phase 2 with firebombs all over the arena and a healer who couldn’t cast a heal thanks to being zerged by Gerald.

It wasn’t pretty.

Then tonight The Mighty Jingles is in a Vault of Archavon 25 man PuG and…  well a picture is needed at this point.

Fourth from the top, Midds the hunter.  6080 dps, not too shabby.  That’s The Mighty One at 10, doing 4.2k dps overall, which is about where the rest of the ranged dps are sitting, considering all the target switching you have to do on Toravon, it’s nothing special but it’s about right.  Cast your eyes further down to the tooltip and you will see, however, that of that 1.19 million damage he pushed out over the course of the fight, only 60k of it was on the Frozen Orbs.  By contrast, each and every one of the other ranged dps, including the newbie hunter in the raid who did far less dps overall, did at least 180k damage to Frozen Orbs.  Special mention to Twixxy the Shadow Priest at number 3 on damage done who not only did more damage than Midds but also did 230k damage to Frozen Orbs into the bargain.

And then the level 264 Hunter pants dropped, and of course, Midds won them over the newbie hunter who was actually doing his job, as opposed to showboating on damage meters at the expense of everyone else.

Midds, and all the other selfish turds like you, die in a fire please.  Or learn to play.  But preferably die in a fire.

  1. Andy says:

    I swear, if I ever get roped into running a VoA raid, I’m going to set a minimum damage number for all ranged DPS to have on the orbs. Anyone who doesn’t bother gets no loot. Hell even DKs can do a decent amount of damage on the orbs with Pestilence and DnD.

  2. Dwism says:

    How come Jingles is dead last on damage done?


  3. Echo says:

    Last (and first successful one in a while) VoA PuG 25 I did had a raid leader that announced that any ranged that didn’t switch wasn’t getting loot. We had a couple of drops at that point, but once we filled back up we one shot Toravon with 21 standing.
    There is, apparently, a virtue to being a fascist. 🙂

  4. Kurnak says:

    Ouch Dwism… you better run! The salt mines will look like a five stars holidays resort once the Mighty Jingles gets you.
    Well Calli, sadly nothing new on Azeroth. Tarded dps, tarded pullers… even tanks are somewhat tarded lately pulling half the instance while you’re trying to loot your first corpse or the healer (if not ovrgeared) is trying to recover some mana. I’ve almost stopped doing randoms because I get sick with that people.
    Not even summoning Ragnaros again we’ll have enough fire for those douches to die in.

  5. Tam says:

    Some ill-mannered hooligan cousin of Gerald’s, surely…

  6. Jong says:

    I like your angry posts.

    • Calli says:

      For my next post I shall endeavour to flagellate myself into a frothing rage just for you, but considering the two achievements I just got you’re likely to be disappointed. 😉

  7. Ker says:

    But target switching means that they have to press at least one extra button (Tab). You can’t be serious that you are expecting the little dps meter hungry bastards to perform this extremely complicated task =)

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