Posted: 22 September, 2009 in misc

So I’m on Sithica the deathtard, grinding out those Badges of Triumph for a better pair of tanking shoulders than the ones she picked up in Naxx10 an absolute age ago, and I end up in yet another PuG.  Not sure why I keep doing this to myself, but I guess if I didn’t I’d have nothing to write about.  Aaaaaanyway…  it’s a pretty good group, but I seem to be having threat problems, as in, I can’t seem to generate enough of it.

I’m aware that we lolknights got something of a beating with the nerfbat a short while back, but while I have noticed my Frost Strikes and Howling Blasts hitting for a lot less lately than I’m used to, holding aggro never used to be this hard.  What am I doing wrong?  The problem is this PuG warlock.  Tórment is his name.  It’s only heroic Gundrak, but my usual tactic of dropping Death and Decay (glyphed) spreading the disease love around and Howling Blasting the bejesus out of everything just isn’t working, and this poor lock is taking a beating.  Eventually even repeated Dark Commands can’t get the aggro off him (or the healer gives up trying to heal both of us at the same time) and he dies.  I feel like a total jerk.  It’s possible he wasn’t bothering to take the marked target and start his nukes on that, but I just can’t be sure.  Either way, a dps died on my watch and I take that personally.  Or at least I did, until he mutters the immortal words:

lern2tank, noob

Okay, now the fastest way to push my buttons is to use l337speak in front of me and mean it, and this guy lit up every button I have with that one remark.  All sense of guilt and pity evaporated at that point.  Sure, it may still have been my crappy tanking that got him killed rather than a complete disregard for marked targets and a complete inability to throttle his own threat in the pursuit of that all-important number 1 spot on recount, but now he can just go take a very long jump off the end of a very short pier.  His cards are well and truly marked.

If you have a problem with my tanking, aggro-monkey, you’re entirely welcome to find another tank.

… I replied, and believe me, I was more than prepared to leave the group and let them find a competent tank, since I had half convinced myself it was actually my fault.  But the healer quickly stepped in and assured me that my tanking was fine, please continue, etc.  And on the very next pull, the warlock did it again, only this time I just knew he was trying to prove a point.

So I let him die.

Yep, didn’t even attempt to taunt the mobs that were eating his face.  Wisely, the healer didn’t even attempt to keep him alive, either, so I didn’t have any healer aggro to worry about.  Once the lock died, and he died very, very fast, the rest of the pull went like clockwork.

Keep it up, I guarantee you’ll get sick of it before I do.

I told him.  He behaved himself after that.  Didn’t utter another word.  Well a few hours later I’m on my warrior, Gorn, in a Vault of Archavon 25 man PuG as dps.  I’m still feeling some residual guilt about the warlock from the earlier PuG as I’m not totally convinced the aggro issues were totally his fault, but… got to keep your mind on the matter at hand.  We’re squared off against Koralon, the Main Tank has just given a ready check and started the pull countdown.  Then a number of things happen.

1.  The boss suddenly bursts into flames
2.  I see a Chaos Bolt streak out of nowhere and slam into him as he lunges forward
3.  The health bar of one of the warlocks suddenly goes from 100% to 0% in one shot
4.  The Tank manages a quick “wtf?” just as two healers get eaten.
5.  We wipe.
6.  A warlock is very quickly kicked out of the raid.

I wonder if you can guess what his name was? 🙂

But the PuG rollercoaster doesn’t end there.  Brewfest is upon us!  And that means more loot, and beer, but mostly more loot.  So I’ve run Blackrock Depths to kill Coren Direbrew a couple of times, and now I’m on Shinano in another PuG to do it again.  We have a loladin named Baro with us.  As each person joins the group, the leader asks if they can summon the boss.  Baro has to be asked five times before he grudgingly answers with “y”.

I know you think you know where this is going, but it’s much more entertaining than that, trust me.

So we get to the Grim Guzzler and I say I’ll start it off first.  I start it up and Direbrew begins the fight with his usual “You’ll pay for that, Druid!” or whatever it is he says.  We kill him, loot him, wait for him to respawn, and repeat.  Three times.

Of course Baro has already done it, several times as it turns out later, and he can’t summon the boss at all.  But Baro is different from your usual instance ninja dickhead, he has at least some sense of shame, because he doesn’t want anyone to know that he’s the one who’s screwed the rest of us out of a chance at the boss.  So when asked if he’d started it off yet he claims he did it first.

Er..  no you didn’t, I did.

I say.  To which his defence is:

Omg Shinano is a ninja shes trying to screw us all she didnt summon boss yet!

I am very happy to report that while he continued in this vein for quite some time, the rest of the group were slightly more intelligent than he hoped they were.  Or more intelligent than him anyway, which amounts to the same thing.  You see, when you start the encounter, the boss refers to you in chat by your class.  And while Baro was accusing me of being a ninja, raping babies and starting the Chicago fire, they were all scrolling up to check the chat log.


I later found out in general chat that not only had he pulled this stunt at least twice before, he’d also led one group where he’d enabled master looter and ninja’d a drop or two.  So, one more time, just in case you missed it, name Baro, class Paladin, server Hellscream EU.

I’m just planting seeds, never know where they’ll take root. 😉

  1. Tamarind says:

    Lol & etc. 😉

    Oh my god, smallest of small worlds, I now know far too many people on Hellscream. Guess I’ll have to make a dicknight of my own and jaunt him over there to say hi to folks (I don’t know why I didn’t cotton onto the fact you were on Hellscream, bit slow on the uptake I reckon). At least I will as long as quality tailoring can be assured.

    Anyway … failPUG stories, yay! I’m sorry a wazlock gave you a moment of tangst but at least you were fully vindicated by a quite frankly stunning display of public stupidity.

    Also I was so amused by the Ninja of Shame. That’s a special kind of failninjing. I mean, at least the bollocks to be a bastard.

  2. Calli says:

    My sentiments exactly. If you’re going to be a dick, then BE a dick. man up, and don’t try to weasel your way out of it!

  3. Keilia says:

    Ugh, I hope you’re not still feeling back about the lock.

    As a lock, I’m the first to complain about the ridiculous amount of threat we seem to generate, but there are things we can do. We do have a threat dumping ability, or he could, you know, stop dpsing for a few seconds to allow you to regain threat.

  4. gnomeaggedon says:

    Yeah… why not shout:


    and vanish…

  5. dw-redux says:

    Ret and not duel-specced… Thats why you must always armory paladins before you go into instances with em 🙂

  6. […] case that inadvertantly restored any of your faith in human nature, here’s Calli with the failpug of the week (there should be a proper award for […]

  7. Kiryn says:

    I hate when people use “y” as an abbreviation for “yes”. Not only is it pointless to abbreviate a three-letter word into a one-letter word, but in my eyes, “y” = “why?”

    So you ask “Are you able to summon the boss?” and he responds with “y” to which I would say “…because we want to know how many tries we have?”

    • gnomeaggedon says:

      I’ll stick my hand up as a “y” person… but I am also a “r” person.

      Maybe 1 in a 100 times I get asked if that is “why?”

      But I figure there are just some things that only need a single letter, especially if I am fighting or running or otherwise engaged

  8. Kurnak says:

    I’ve had the same issues with my death knight. I admit he’s not uber-geared (537 def and 26k hp unbuffed atm), but he’s done heroics without problems before and even ToC single-handed. But then you get into a pug where EVERYONE is clad in T8-T9 and boy… be ready for a heart-attack because even Grunty the Murloc Marine seems to pull aggro off you and you feel shitty because people is taking damage (or worst… dying!). But the worst thing is when someone (like that warlock dickhead) doesn’t understand that you’re not a noob to tanking (or healing also), that you have a ton of chars covering all possible roles and well geared, so you’re not new to the game and understand how things work and you’re just trying to gear up your poor DK while the rest are only on badge farming (moar badges, fazt runz lol!). It’s good when it’s the opposite… a tank over 37k that doesn’t even seem to take a single hit, several dps who take the mobs down in a blink and you’re a humble dps or a good healer who seems displaced because either your dps seems too low compared to them or your healings doesn’t seem needed (like it happened to me with my disc priest, I told the group I was feeling so useless because tank seemed invulnerable that I was tempted to activate shadow spec and join the dps feast).
    Still there’s something worse than a bunch of dickheads in T9: the other day I was invited to a party formed by members of ínsomiacs (btw Calli, Crimson joined them months ago) into Gundrak to tank with my DK (was daily run). As I step into the instance I get the message that I’m going to be saved to the instance, so they’ve already taken down a boss. I click ok and since I see trash around I suppose they had some problems with the tank and mobs respawned. Poor me I didn’t ask how many bosses were dead before… because all of them were. Seems they killed the last one and tank disconnected or whatever. The thing is they didn’t loot the corpse for the daily turn-in and needed a tank to reach the corpse. Of course the fucktards didn’t tell me anything and one of the mages kept snatching aggro oof me. So thanks for nothing but a repair bill, shitheads! At least I got a small revenge: corpse of the boss disappeared by the time we got there. Fuck you, assholes!
    I think we should create a Black List of Hellscream Dicktards. I’ve found several like these before, pity I don’t remember their names, but at least I’ve sworn never to join a pug with an ínsomniacs member inside.

  9. Calli says:

    Ouch… Kurnak wins. That’s far worse than my failpug.

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